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AmazingMatty’s Typical Space Filling 2010 Summer Movie Preview Pt. 1

2010/06/10

It’s here!  It’s here!  Yes indeedy, summer is upon us and with it dozens of fine offerings from the people of Hollywoodland who truly care about our spiritual enlightenment and advancement as a culture! Wait, something in there doesn’t sound right….       

Eh, let’s move on.  In a concerned effort to help you, the consumer, make educated choices on how to spend your hard-earned dough in rewarding and fulfilling ways, I now humbly offer to you this brief guide to what I think you’re going to find in this year’s stampede of explosions, bright colors and fart jokes.  Please note:  these opinions have been carefully crafted from painstaking research involving ‘watching trailers’, ‘reading Entertainment Weekly’, and ‘stumbling across things on the Internets instead of looking for work’, so you know these are rock-solid assessments.  In the hopes of making it more digestible, I have broken this candy bar into pieces.  At least two of them.       

Already Available For Consumption:       

Iron Man 2Apparent Plot:  Iron Man fights a lot of things. Pros:  The first one was phenomenal.  This one added Mickey Rourke.  Possible Cons:  From all appearances, this sequel appears to feature about 40,000 Iron Men.  I don’t get as much emotional involvement or satisfaction from watching hunks of metal punch each other as I used to.  That’s right, I blame you Transformers 2:  Revenge of the Dullards.  Outlook: It’s a comic book property, with Robert Downey Jr. and The Rourke in it.  I frankly can’t believe I didn’t camp out for this, let alone see it yet.  Guaranteed to break the seal of my wallet.       

MacGruber busy over-emoting

 

 Robin Hood: Apparent Plot: It’s another remake of Robin Hood.  Pros: Um, looks like it offers a lot to folks who like arrows and forced romantic plotlines. Possible Cons: I got tired of Russell Crowe shortly after L.A. Confidential ended, I’ve never liked any version of the Robin Hood legend that didn’t feature Bugs Bunny, and there’s no love song by Bryan Adams.  Outlook: I will never watch this film.  I already know that from a place deep inside.       

MacGruber: Apparent Plot: Hey! It’s a movie based on an SNL skit!  Those always go well.  Added bonus:  it’s based on a parody skit of a television show that hasn’t been on the air since 1992.  Sounds promising.  Pros: Will Forte can be really funny when he’s on his game, Kristin Wiig is reliably good for laughs, Val Kilmer is the bad guy, and there’s a bunch of pro wrestlers in it.  Possible Cons:  Did you read the plot assessment?  There you go.  Outlook:  I will love this enough sometime in the fall when I watch it for a dollar.       

Sex and the City 2 and Shrek Forever After – These are not aimed at me.  Thus, I will not aim back.  Other than to say that this seems like the perfect double feature to run if you want me to give up state secrets.       

Prince of Persia original source material

 

 Prince of Persia:  The Sands of Time: Apparent Plot: It’s based on a video game property that’s been quite successful following the adventures of a bad-ass version of Aladdin. Pros: The effects look to be top-notch, and it’s gotten a lot of love from the general critic pool.  Possible Cons: In case I haven’t been clear, I find Jake Gyllenhall nearly unwatchable, unless my only other option is to watch his sister.  Video game properties converted to film generally blow.  Outlook: I can actually see watching and being surprised by this one –  when it’s eventually on DVD or Instant Watch.  I guess we’ll find out then, because I’m not breaking out an eight-spot for it.       

Up Next:  Part 2, The Month of June

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One Comment leave one →
  1. jen permalink
    2010/06/11 10:14 am

    i can’t believe you haven’t seen iron man 2!!!! it could have actually used more mickey rourke in it… he is a compelling bad guy with great hair!!!

    loving your blog! we definitely have similar tastes… will be watching this column closely… advantage: amazingmatty

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