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Product Review: This Pan

Base price $0.77/m 5yr 6.0%APY
Bore × stroke N/A
Cylinders N/A
Displacement N/A
Compression ratio N/A
Fuel system gas/electric
Maximum power Varies
Maximum torque Varies
Maximum rpm Vaires
Engine location N/A
Engine alignment N/A
Drive N/A
Steering Manual
Suspension N/A
Brakes F-R N/A – N/A
Transmission N/A

The kitchen is a place of specialization. Each one is filled with single use tools that were discarded into the junk drawer and lost forever on day two of ownership. Lemon zester, anyone? Melon baller, perhaps? How refreshing it is to find a single utensil of limitless use. Not since the George Foreman Grill has an item brought so much to the literal table. The versatility of This Pan is unmatched by other cookware on the market. Not only can it perform essentially every task, but it even manages to excel in most areas. This Pan defies the standard of “Jack of all trades, master of none”. 

A sleek and stylish design brings more than just functionality to the stove top. This moderately priced model comes with high-end options. Attentive users will be pleased to find more than a token brown circle in the center of this copper bottom pan. The base is solid copper. You can see it as a golden stripe across the base when viewing from the side. The stainless steel exterior is standard in most models, but executed to perfection with This Pan. Luster wasn’t lost, nor did stains persist, during the two-week road test. This Pan came out of the wash looking like new after repeated encounters with burnt cheese, blackened meats and every dirt road in three states. 

If this backwoods experience makes it sound like a rugged man’s tool, that’s because it is. Despite what the slick looks imply, this isn’t a finesse pan. It compares favorably to what are traditionally considered the muscle models. This Pan out performed That Pan in the “Center It On The Burner Without Hurting Yourself While Carrying A Full Payload Challenge”. Due to a lack of maneuverability, That Pan’s intimidating size and weight proved its undoing. Though This Pan is less powerful by the numbers, it packs as much punch as is possible while still remaining incredibly maneuverable. While experts may prefer That Pan’s superior raw strength, most consumers may find it a bit unwieldy in comparison. 

This Pan: No problem

That Pan: ARG! My wrist!

Soccer moms beware! Cargo space might be the one area where This Pan can be seen as lacking. The 1/5 cubic foot loading area is certainly nothing to sneeze at, but a merely adequate amount of room isn’t a selling point either. Don’t expect to be able to move your friends or make soup with This Pan. A stock pot or even a large sauce pan would be a better option if space is the number one priority. 

Speaking of soccer moms, what precious cargo you can accommodate will at least feel safe and secure. At 3.5 lbs, it is an impressive built-in anti-theft system. Most common threats to the life and limbs of your loved ones are susceptible to blunt force trauma.  Even a modest application of the theft deterrent system will apply 420 ft-lb of torque upside the assailant’s head. 

Potential threat neutralized by This Pan

All of these impressive specifics are for naught if the pan fails to deliver the final product. Fortunately, This Pan lives up to the hype that’s been built. Given fifteen minutes to work with, This Pan brought all of its features together in a ballet of food preparation to produce a top of the line toasted cheese sandwich. Conversely, That Other Pan proved inept when tasked with creating a Crème Brûlée. The competition has received a complete thrashing. This Pan has been crowned king of the kitchen. 

This Pan's toasted cheese

That Other Pan's Crème Brûlée


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