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The Reality of Reality.

2010/07/08

Dear Readers,

Let me introduce myself.  My name is Relish Rickles, and I am a reality T.V. addict.  This is something that I am embarrassed to admit in mixed company as being addicted to reality T.V. is analogous to the episode of Intervention where that girl was addicted to inhaling canned air.  Reality T.V. lacks substance, but I’m cool with that.  I like things that are all flash and no substance.  I’ve been to a G.W.A.R. concert, and I’ve read all four Twilight books.

For those of you who are not already familiar with reality T.V., let me outline the basic formula for success in this genre:

  • A group of people from different backgrounds are forced to live  together.  The duration of the living arrangement may or may not be dependent on whether one gets voted out of the house, or off the island, or what have you.
  • The majority of the people in the house or on the island are very good-looking and this makes them horny.
  • They are all heavy binge drinkers and this makes them horny.
  • They are all 25 years old give or take a few years, and this makes them horny.
  • They are all stupid enough to get drunk and horny on T.V. and this makes me happy!

There are some reality shows such as Discovery Channel’s  Deadliest Catch  that do not rely on this formula, and, therefore, fall into the realm of quality programming.  I will not be discussing these shows.  I ain’t that classy.

I will be discussing the shows that conform to the aforementioned formula.  These shows are usually found on VH-1 or MTV with extra outtakes for your viewing pleasure available on their respective websites.  In the true spirit of reality T.V., I will also follow a formula when writing about these shows.  The formula for my future blogs will be as follows:

  • Brief summary of the show or a specific episode of the show.
  • Complaining about the person on the show that I want to punch in the face.
  • A shout-out to the person on the show that I want to nail.
  • Reasons why or why not to watch the show accompanied by a rating of 1-3.  3=good  2=meh  1=sucks

The purpose of this blog is to suck you, Dear Reader, into the reality cesspool in hopes of uniting reality T.V. addicts so that we can appear in our own version of Celebrity Rehab and I can one day be in a situation where I am able to make sexual advances on Dr. Drew Pinsky.  What can say? I’m an opportunist and I don’t mind using the innocent to get what I want.  I am definitely reality T.V. material.  Where’s my vodka?

Rickles Out.

Next Blog: MTV’s The Real World.

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